if what is actually happening is actually happening
it is a result of what actually has happened

if what actually has happened had not-happened
what is actually happening would not, could not be

but it is: so it did

opinions may differ
but what is actually happening right now is actually happening

opinions may conflict
but what has already actually happened has actually happened.

this is what 'the past' means
that which has happened

that which is happening
is what 'the present' means

  no more; no less; no different.

the past is only and exactly what it was
not one element of the past did not happen
no single element, however small or subtle did not-happen

the past is irredeemable
it did happen

  everything that has happened has happened
the past has happened

what did not happen did not happen
what might have happened did not happen
what could have happened did not happen
what should have happened did not happen
what ought to have happened did not happen

only what actually happened did happen

the past could not have been in any way at all different
for it had been the present would not, could not exist

but what is actually happening right now
is actually happening right now
just as it is

because of exactly what happened before
just as it was

for all actions, events and situations are conditioned
by actions, events and situations that preceed them

the present is the legacy of the past

the irreplacable present
is the gift of the irredeemable past

for the present to be happening exactly the way that it actually is
the past, likewise, had to happen exactly the way that it did

not one part of the present is not-happening
not one part of the past did not-happen

no part of the present or past can be wished away
they are totally and utterly irredeemable, irreplacable

to say that the past
or any part of it
did not have to happen
is pure speculation

to say that the past should not have happened
is simply to express a preference
not a fact

to say that the past might not have happened
is to wrap the cloak of ignorance around your eyes
and spit it out of your mouth

be so foolish if you must
but don't expect anything from your folly
but the sypmathy of other fools

for a fool it is
and a knavish one
who says

you should not have done that
i did not have to do that
they should have done that differently
we could have done that better

what this all means is that
we wish it had been different

but it wasn't

what happened happened

it could not have not-happened
none of it

not one tiny overlooked and unremarkable part of it
could have not-happened

the past not only happened
it could not have not happened

cant argue with that
unless you want to argue with the past
and tell it that it did not happen

but it did

like it or not
remember it or not
admit it or not

it happened

it happened
means it could not have not-happened

means it had to happen

if it happened
it happened because it had to happen
because the forces and factors that brought it to happen
had allready happened
as a result of forces and factors that brought them to happen
as a result of forces and factors that brought them to happen
as a result of forces and factors that brought them to happen
as a result of forces and factors that brought them to happen

right back to the beginning of time and the edges of space
if you could find them
all the way back and all the way out as far as the mind can track

forces and factors
that because they had to happen happened
that because they happened
had to happen

if what has actually happened had to actually happen
which it did
because it could not have not-happened
anything you have ever done
anything that has ever been done to you
anything you have ever said
anything that has ever been said about you
anything you or anyone has ever felt or thought

had to be thought, felt, said and done
could not have been not done, said, felt or thought
could not have been in any way different

neither better nor worse
had to be just like that

whatever deeds have been done
whatever actions have been taken
whatever decisions have been made
whatever choices were taken

had to be

each choice was a choice that had to be taken
each decision was a decision that had to be made
each action was an action that had to be taken
each deed was a deed that had to be done

no choice that has been taken could have not been taken
no decision that has been made could have not been made
no action that has been taken could have not been taken
no deed that has been done could have not been done

each choice, decision action and deed
is irrevocable

each choice, decision, action and deed
is irrevocably caused by prior choices, decisions, actions and deeds

each choice, decision, action and deed
is irrevocably conditioned by prior choices, decisions, actions and deeds

each choice, decision, action and deed
is irreplacable in its irrevocability

each choice, decision, action and deed
is imperfectable in its irreplacability

each choice, decision, action and deed
is immaculate in its imperfectability

every choice, decision, action and deed
is immaculate, imperfectable, irreplacable and irrevocable

simply because they were all inevitable
they all had to happen

we know this simply because they did happen

because they did happen
the present is actually happening
just as it is

in equally immaculate inevitability

just as the future must and will also
happen out of immaculate inevitability

conditioned irrevocably through the present by the past

so what has happened has happened
what is happening is happening
what will happen will happen

whatever choices must be taken will be taken
whatever decisions must be made will be made
whatever actions must be taken will be taken

in doing so they too will be immaculate

though it may feel otherwise
no mistake is ever possible

what will be done will be done because it must be done

though it will feel differently
no choice can ever be free

what will be chosen will be chosen because it must be chosen

therein lies freedom

freedom from blame
freedom from guilt
freedom from doubt and uncertainty
freedom from resentment and regret
freedom from shame and pride
freedom from anxiety and manipulation

freedom from the need to know
freedom from the need to control

all of which can only arise in the mirage of personal volition
within the swamp of freedom of choice
within the battle ground
of should-have, could-have, might-have, ought-to-have

when the immaculate inevitability
of all choices, decisions, actions, deeds, situations and events
is honestly and openly seen

you are looking into the smiling face of god

for if what is happening is happening
it is because what has happened has happened

and if what has happened has happened
it happened because it could not have not-happened

it had to happen

it had to happen as an inevitable event in the indivisible happening of spacetime
from which no event, action, decision or choice can ever be extracted

each choice, decision, action and deed
exists as an irreplacable and inevitable node in one indivisible matrix

a matrix that in all of its parts, and in its wholeness
is immaculate in its inevitable and irreplacable irrevocability

a matrix that extends in every possible direction
without end, without beginning

a matrix that is infinte and eternal

an eternal infinity that has neither centre nor source
netheir edge nor periphery

a matrix that is entirely selfcontained and selfcontaining
a matrix within which all that happens has to happen

and no event, action, decision or choice
is ever the result of any independent agency

and no event, action, decision or choice
is ever the result of any independent volition

and no event, action, decision or choice
is ever the result of any independent instrument

all instruments of action
all instruments of volition
all instruments of perception
are entirely and irrevocably conditioned by the matrix
of all other actions and objects

of which matrix each action and object
is nothing other than a momentary and perfect
inevitable and necessary expression

in the specific and unique spacetime location that it is

all instrumentality is dependent on all instrumentality
all actions and objects are conditioned by all objects and actions
in their inherently indivisible totality

that totality is the body of god
the inevitability of that totality is the will of god

within that totality there is neither independent volition
not independent instrument

all volition, all action
belongs always and only to totality

all volition, all action
belongs always and only to god

god is all there is
all there is is god

all choices, decisions, actions, deeds and their instruments
which instruments, deeds, actions, decisions and choices
are all different, unique and necessary
are separated from totality only in perception

they have no independent existence

all choices, decisions, actions, deeds
are the result of the will of god alone

god is every deed, every action
every decision, every choice
that was, is and will be
and so so much more

god is all there is

including you
including your every thought
feeling, choice, decision, action and deed

no matter what is done, heard, seen, felt, smelt or tasted
it is always and only god

no matter what is thought, felt, chosen, decided, or done
it is always and only god

no matter what it is
always it is only god

it is
always and only
god

2004 canam